Speedy Gonzales Waiter

I was seated at a upscale Italian restaurant. They had a fairly extensive wine list which looked like fun. Within a few minutes the server, whom from this point forward I will call SPEEDY, stops buy and says the sommelier will be over to talk wine, gives us specials and asks about water. As SPEEDY leaves the sommelier comes by, we talk wine, and I order a bottle of Bellavista. This took maybe 4 or 5 minutes as we discussed several options. With in seconds of the sommelier leaving SPEEDY is back asking for an order. I let him know we have not even opened the menus so give us some time to get our wine. The sommelier was very efficient and the bubbly arrived quickly and was service efficiently. As the sommelier leaves, I turn to toast my wife and the waiter is back. SPEEDY barges in looking for an order or to at least get some appetizers started. He offer no suggestions an was rather demanding for order. A little annoyed I pick a couple of apps quickly figuring it would slow him down and remove him for a while. I barely finished a quarter of a glass of bubbly when the apps are dropped by the food runner. It was under 10 minutes. I thought it was a mistake; it must have been someone else’s food. Within seconds of the food being dropped, SPEEDY appears again and asks for an order. He is very intrusive and not helpful, and doesn’t have a clue that I am very annoyed with him. We hadn’t been at the table 15 minutes and we had a bottle of wine and two apps down. I make a polite but poignant remark that at this pace we will be done with dinner in less than 30 minutes. It did not resonate with SPEEDY, who interrupted several more times for an order before my pleasantness wore off and finally just said, “SLOW DOWN AND STOP INTERRUPTING! We are not in a hurry. Please fill our water glasses and I will find you when we are ready to order.” Although this finally slowed him down it did not make things better. His knowledge of the food menu was weak which I could let pass, until he began to make up information about a dishes and ingredients he obviously knew nothing about.